Comments on: Pondering the HEA http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/ Careful...it's bound to get hot in here! Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:04:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sasha White http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-492 Sasha White Fri, 16 Jun 2006 08:55:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-492 Hey Rachelle!<br/><br/>Us single women need to stick together. LOL Hey Rachelle!

Us single women need to stick together. LOL

]]> By: Rachelle Chase http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-488 Rachelle Chase Thu, 15 Jun 2006 19:03:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-488 Good post, Sasha. I agree with what's already said -- that we all make our own HEA's. And being single and enjoying the freedom that you mention, I'm happy to live in a time where women are able to create our own HEAs, whether it's marriage and children, or one that veers away from the traditional.<br/><br/>There's been a lot of discussion lately about HEAs and romance. I'm in the "satisfying ending" camp, in that there has to be a hint that the hero/heroine will be seeing each other beyond the end of the book and seeking a committed relationship. <br/><br/>I think we each bring our own subjectivity into what is a HEA, based on our life experiences or what we'd like our experience to be like. For example, since children do not fit into my ideal of a HEA for my real life, when a romance ends with the couple ready to get married after a mere 300+ pages or a mandatory epilogue with them smiling down on a firstborn, well, there is a bit of eyerolling on my part. It takes a bit longer than the timespan in most 300+ page books for a couple to decide on marriage. And the addition of children in a marriage does not always make a relationship better. Obviously, romance is not real life but ... in these instances, reality intrudes and I can't suspend disbelief. Good post, Sasha. I agree with what’s already said — that we all make our own HEA’s. And being single and enjoying the freedom that you mention, I’m happy to live in a time where women are able to create our own HEAs, whether it’s marriage and children, or one that veers away from the traditional.

There’s been a lot of discussion lately about HEAs and romance. I’m in the “satisfying ending” camp, in that there has to be a hint that the hero/heroine will be seeing each other beyond the end of the book and seeking a committed relationship.

I think we each bring our own subjectivity into what is a HEA, based on our life experiences or what we’d like our experience to be like. For example, since children do not fit into my ideal of a HEA for my real life, when a romance ends with the couple ready to get married after a mere 300+ pages or a mandatory epilogue with them smiling down on a firstborn, well, there is a bit of eyerolling on my part. It takes a bit longer than the timespan in most 300+ page books for a couple to decide on marriage. And the addition of children in a marriage does not always make a relationship better. Obviously, romance is not real life but … in these instances, reality intrudes and I can’t suspend disbelief.

]]> By: Sasha White http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-485 Sasha White Mon, 12 Jun 2006 06:32:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-485 I agree with you Cece, and Jodi. HEA is different for everyone, so I don't think it's a term that can be used so genrically anymore. <br/><br/>Like Alyssa says, so many people are <i>choosing</i> thier own HEA's nowdays, and it's not always with a partner. I agree with you Cece, and Jodi. HEA is different for everyone, so I don’t think it’s a term that can be used so genrically anymore.

Like Alyssa says, so many people are choosing thier own HEA’s nowdays, and it’s not always with a partner.

]]> By: Jodi Lynn Copeland http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-484 Jodi Lynn Copeland Mon, 12 Jun 2006 00:44:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-484 I am like many others in that I believe everyone has their own HEA and it may or may not include love, romance, wedding bells, a significant other, etc. Like Anonymous I am lucky to be living my HEA. It took years of hard work, dedication, emotional trauma, physical trauma and many other ups and downs, but I have reached it. My HEA happens to include love, romance and family, but it also means I am happy with myself, my career choice, my emotional well being...<br/><br/>As for do I want that HEA in a book...it really depends on my mood. I do admit that 75% of what I read includes the romance angle, but when it comes to movies and tv I prefer the action plot and I could care less if their is romance involved. With either media type, the biggest thing for me is to know what I am getting going in--if the story or movie has an HEA that is packed with hearts and flowers, or just an HEA where the entire planet lived happily ever after (at least for that day) because the earth was saved I want to know what to expect going in. I can deal with movies that are packaged as romance and end with one or more of the partners dying, but I really don't want to see that in a book. As for my own books, I do write HEAs that end in a relationship or a sign that the couple (or threesome *G*) will continue to see each other, but it's only because I haven't yet thought up a plot without that strong romance HEA angle that I love enough to write about. I am like many others in that I believe everyone has their own HEA and it may or may not include love, romance, wedding bells, a significant other, etc. Like Anonymous I am lucky to be living my HEA. It took years of hard work, dedication, emotional trauma, physical trauma and many other ups and downs, but I have reached it. My HEA happens to include love, romance and family, but it also means I am happy with myself, my career choice, my emotional well being…

As for do I want that HEA in a book…it really depends on my mood. I do admit that 75% of what I read includes the romance angle, but when it comes to movies and tv I prefer the action plot and I could care less if their is romance involved. With either media type, the biggest thing for me is to know what I am getting going in–if the story or movie has an HEA that is packed with hearts and flowers, or just an HEA where the entire planet lived happily ever after (at least for that day) because the earth was saved I want to know what to expect going in. I can deal with movies that are packaged as romance and end with one or more of the partners dying, but I really don’t want to see that in a book. As for my own books, I do write HEAs that end in a relationship or a sign that the couple (or threesome *G*) will continue to see each other, but it’s only because I haven’t yet thought up a plot without that strong romance HEA angle that I love enough to write about.

]]> By: Amie Stuart http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-483 Amie Stuart Sat, 10 Jun 2006 20:45:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-483 FWIW I think the term HEA should be outlawed.........<br/><br/>Happiness is fleeting. You can't pin your happiness on another person (I'm probably preaching to the choir here). YOU are responsible for your happiness. YOU are responsible for your degree of contentment. <br/><br/>Like you I won't settle for less than what I deserve. But I have a good life, I'm living my happy ending. It's not perfect but marriage isn't perfect either). I'm content and that works for me. FWIW I think the term HEA should be outlawed………

Happiness is fleeting. You can’t pin your happiness on another person (I’m probably preaching to the choir here). YOU are responsible for your happiness. YOU are responsible for your degree of contentment.

Like you I won’t settle for less than what I deserve. But I have a good life, I’m living my happy ending. It’s not perfect but marriage isn’t perfect either). I’m content and that works for me.

]]> By: Kathleen Dante http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-482 Kathleen Dante Sat, 10 Jun 2006 19:07:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-482 Well, it depends on what your story is supposed to be: women's fiction/erotica, romance, mystery, something else? If it's a romance, then it definitely should have an HEA, not necessarily a marriage-and-kids HEA, but still one where the H/H are together with the expectation that they'll continue to be together in the future. Not to have one would be like a mystery where the crime isn't solved by the end. Sure, there are lots of crimes that go unsolved in Real Life, but that isn't why the mystery reader bought the book.<br/><br/>In the same way, a romance reader expects to read the development of a successful romance. If the hero turns out to be a louse and she throws him off in the end, I'd say that's chick-lit or women's fiction, not a romance. If that happens in what's supposed to be an erotic romance, then I'd say that's erotica.<br/><br/>If you don't want your romantic leads to have an HEA, just don't market/sell the story as a romance. I think it's simple enough. There are audiences for other genres. Well, it depends on what your story is supposed to be: women’s fiction/erotica, romance, mystery, something else? If it’s a romance, then it definitely should have an HEA, not necessarily a marriage-and-kids HEA, but still one where the H/H are together with the expectation that they’ll continue to be together in the future. Not to have one would be like a mystery where the crime isn’t solved by the end. Sure, there are lots of crimes that go unsolved in Real Life, but that isn’t why the mystery reader bought the book.

In the same way, a romance reader expects to read the development of a successful romance. If the hero turns out to be a louse and she throws him off in the end, I’d say that’s chick-lit or women’s fiction, not a romance. If that happens in what’s supposed to be an erotic romance, then I’d say that’s erotica.

If you don’t want your romantic leads to have an HEA, just don’t market/sell the story as a romance. I think it’s simple enough. There are audiences for other genres.

]]> By: Alyssa http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-481 Alyssa Sat, 10 Jun 2006 18:06:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-481 I think part of reading a romance is wanting the romance...so yes, I want the couple to end up together, though I've got to admit, marriage, kids, and a dog seem like a strech if its a novella. I'm contented knowing the couple is together...giving it a shot...in love or FALLING in love...<br/><br/>What I wouldn't care for is a couple going its seperate way..but then...that's not romance, it's erotica. <br/><br/>Sasha, in today's world, more and more women chose to be single...helll THEY CAN...why not? In the past, women needed to marry as much as they wanted to. The divorce rates are way to high...I don't think you should get married unless it is that guy that makes your heart kick in your chest...even after two years of dating. And no, definitly not easy to come by! I think part of reading a romance is wanting the romance…so yes, I want the couple to end up together, though I’ve got to admit, marriage, kids, and a dog seem like a strech if its a novella. I’m contented knowing the couple is together…giving it a shot…in love or FALLING in love…

What I wouldn’t care for is a couple going its seperate way..but then…that’s not romance, it’s erotica.

Sasha, in today’s world, more and more women chose to be single…helll THEY CAN…why not? In the past, women needed to marry as much as they wanted to. The divorce rates are way to high…I don’t think you should get married unless it is that guy that makes your heart kick in your chest…even after two years of dating. And no, definitly not easy to come by!

]]> By: Sasha White http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-480 Sasha White Sat, 10 Jun 2006 17:58:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-480 I'm quite happy being single. I personally am not willing to settle for less than what I want from a man. Does that mean I want/ expect himtobe perfect? No.<br/><br/>It does mean I want him to want Me for me. And that he has to be someoen I cna envision a future with. <br/><br/>Debbie, Nope nothing new right now. Maybe in a bit, on my regular blog.:) I’m quite happy being single. I personally am not willing to settle for less than what I want from a man. Does that mean I want/ expect himtobe perfect? No.

It does mean I want him to want Me for me. And that he has to be someoen I cna envision a future with.

Debbie, Nope nothing new right now. Maybe in a bit, on my regular blog.:)

]]> By: debbiee http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-479 debbiee Sat, 10 Jun 2006 04:50:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-479 What you consider real life and what I consider real life can be and probably are 2 different things. Attitude has alot to do with moods and feelings. I'm not saying that you can't be in a bad mood but I am saying that you have to change something if you aren't happy for the most part. I have been married going on 26 years and I have to say that I consider my marriage today amongst the happiest of my time with my DH. I have learned that you have to say what you feel because he isn't wired the way I'm wired. When I think my marriage needs an overhaul I have to look in the mirror first and ask myself what am I willing to do to make it better? When I was younger it was always him that had to change or make the sacrifice.<br/><br/>You can be happy single/married/divorced/separated whatever - if you are not happy --what are you going to do to change it? That may not be easy, but with the support of family and friends - you can do anything you set your mind to.<br/><br/>I love living a part of my secret life through you Sasha. Any new men you want to talk about? Old men? Come on, out with it! What you consider real life and what I consider real life can be and probably are 2 different things. Attitude has alot to do with moods and feelings. I’m not saying that you can’t be in a bad mood but I am saying that you have to change something if you aren’t happy for the most part. I have been married going on 26 years and I have to say that I consider my marriage today amongst the happiest of my time with my DH. I have learned that you have to say what you feel because he isn’t wired the way I’m wired. When I think my marriage needs an overhaul I have to look in the mirror first and ask myself what am I willing to do to make it better? When I was younger it was always him that had to change or make the sacrifice.

You can be happy single/married/divorced/separated whatever – if you are not happy –what are you going to do to change it? That may not be easy, but with the support of family and friends – you can do anything you set your mind to.

I love living a part of my secret life through you Sasha. Any new men you want to talk about? Old men? Come on, out with it!

]]> By: Erin the Innocent http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/comment-page-1/#comment-478 Erin the Innocent Sat, 10 Jun 2006 04:03:00 +0000 http://www.aphrodisiaauthors.com/blog/2006/06/09/pondering-the-hea/#comment-478 If the book is being sold as a romance (erotic or otherwise) I want it to have a HEA.<br/><br/>In general though, I don't need a HEA in the books I read. I read many genres and it just doesn't make sense for all of them to have a HEA. (They have to have an ending that makes sense for the story though. Don't be leaving me hanging (without the promise of a follow up story) unless you want me tossing the book at the wall and saying some very un-innocent words LOL<br/><br/>I hope that makes sense :)<br/><br/>*btw Sasha I love the picture you have there! If the book is being sold as a romance (erotic or otherwise) I want it to have a HEA.

In general though, I don’t need a HEA in the books I read. I read many genres and it just doesn’t make sense for all of them to have a HEA. (They have to have an ending that makes sense for the story though. Don’t be leaving me hanging (without the promise of a follow up story) unless you want me tossing the book at the wall and saying some very un-innocent words LOL

I hope that makes sense :)

*btw Sasha I love the picture you have there!

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