December 2nd, 2008 | by Lacy Danes |
While reading a research book for character development in my next writing project, I came across a section talking about “know thy self”… ie what are your values and needs. In this section, they asked you to list your values and needs in order.
Some of the examples they gave for possible values and needs are:
Excellence
Beauty
Intimacy
Understanding
Respect
Entrepreneurship
Healing
Stimulation
Status
Justice
Creativity/Creation
Animal Companions
Originality
Fun
Generosity
Knowledge
Learning
Solitude
Trust
Adventure
Uniqueness
Connection/Connecting
Expression
Flow
Intelligence
Helping
Recognition
Community
Integrity
Choice
Of course there are many more than just that list, but you get the idea…
Once you know what your values and needs are you can better stay with them when making decisions. There are no bad values or needs. Bad or wrong only come into play in how you deal with getting your values and needs met.
The book says that most times when people are sad or depressed, feeling trapped, or troubled etc. that if they think of their values and needs they usually realize they have compromised on them and are not living who they are anymore. This exercise helps them get back to who they are at a core and helps them shake the depression and achieve happiness through living their values.
I found this interesting. Having gone through rough patches in my life, I looked back on those spots and I was amazed that it was true. I had slid away from my own values and needs each of those times.
I am always delighted when I read a book for one of my characters and I learn something about myself.
Just this past week I was laid off from my day job. I am looking at this as an opportunity to fine tune my life one more time, so looking at my values and needs going forward is important. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. I am looking forward to finding my new path while learning more about myself.
Hope this finds you well.
Hugs and Kisses,
Lacy.
Sounds like an interesting book. And it’s true, we do lose sight of our values all too often. Way to look at the positive for the job change! I think it could be a really good thing! *Hugs*
by Shelli Stevens · December 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 amThanks Shelli! It is an interesting book. I am looking forward to the change. I feel like I have been stuck in a rut for too long!
Hugs to you.
by Lacy Danes · December 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 amLacy.
I really do agree with you in that things happen for a reason. That belief has helped me deal with a lot in my life, and the cool thing is, that old saying about how when one door closes, another one opens, is often so true. Hopefully the time while you’re laid off will open new opportunities for you with your writing. You can use this period to focus on the parts of your life you’ve not had the time for before now. Wishing you all good things.
by Kate Douglas · December 3rd, 2008 at 1:55 amThanks Kate.
I just turned in a new proposal to my agent so I am hoping that story will be my writing focus. I also have been enjoying more time with my kids.
Things do happen for a reason. Every time I think something bad that happened, when I look back at it a few months later I say. No that actually was a good thing.
Wishing you all good things too!
by Lacy Danes · December 3rd, 2008 at 4:43 pmLacy.
It’s funny how you stumble upon just the right words when you need them the most. I agree with the concept of everything happens for a reason, it’s just hard to see when you’re in the middle of it.
by Wild at Heart · December 6th, 2008 at 1:36 amThanks for the insight.