December 3rd, 2008 | by Delilah Devlin |
I feel like Ado Annie from the musical Oklahoma who can never say no.
The realization struck me yesterday that I have the backbone of an invertebrate. There I was, working toward a deadline on my next book, with the month already filled with time-management minefields, and I get a call from the local high school asking if I could substitute teach. The woman on the other end of the line sounds flustered and desperate, and I’m feeling sympathy pains for her dilemma as she describes the number of teachers who’ve called in sick because of colds, the number taking days to Christmas shop, and could I please fill in for Mr. X tomorrow? It would be such a help.
I’m making faces at the phone, wriggling in my chair because I want to scream, “Not just no—hell, no!” Instead, I hear myself meekly agreeing to show up at 8:30 AM to face a classroom of 14-year-olds. Mind you, I’m a certified teacher, but it only took me two years on the job to know I haven’t the temperment to deal with hormonal youths.
I twitch when they smirk. My first instinct when one talks back is to wrestle him or her to the ground in a chokehold until the little shit cries uncle. I survived those two years, but only because I saw light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I was going to be a full-time writer, and then I would have my revenge on anyone who’d ever caused me grief.
So think about me today. I’ll be in a classroom instead of spending time here with you. And if one of your children comes home with stories about a very strange substitute whose face turned beet red and twitched whenever Johnny blew spitballs—well, you’ll know it was just me.
And in case you didn’t know it, I have a new book out. It’s getting rave reviews and was featured in the Doubleday and Rhapsody bookclubs (I’m sure they only bought it for the studly cowboy on the cover!).
If you’d like to take a peek inside, follow the link: Down in Texas
If you post a comment today, I’ll be sure to respond when I get home later. Just don’t expect me to be coherent or sober.
Oh Delilah I’ll be thinking of you. If it were my kids I would give you permission for the chokehold but then T likes to wrestle with the kids so they may fight back.
I hope your day isn’t too terrible.
by Brandy W · December 3rd, 2008 at 1:29 pmGood luck to day Delilah! My thoughts will be with you. I am dreading the teen years with my own kids. I was a bit of a shyly devious girl in high school and so far my daughter is just like me. sigh.
Anyway, hope it goes smoothly.
by Lacy Danes · December 3rd, 2008 at 4:50 pmLacy.
Thanks Lacy and Brandy!
by Delilah Devlin · December 3rd, 2008 at 5:59 pmI survived. Actually had a fun group of kids. Didn’t have to “wrassle” a one!!
Bummer…I was hoping for some good stories. Glad your day wasn’t that bad and I’m sure the school was eternally grateful.
by Brandy W · December 3rd, 2008 at 7:25 pmWhoa… huge kudos to you! Good for you for teaching (even as a sub) and glad it was a good day after all! I briefly considered teaching before I came to my senses and realized I’d be terribly ill-suited for that!
by Fedora · December 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 pmI’m glad to hear your day went better than expected, Delilah. I had my substitute teaching license for three years after graduating with my BAS, but never actually used it as I got a full time job a month after getting it. You get some major kudos for doing that.
by Karin · December 4th, 2008 at 12:14 amFedora and Karin!
by Delilah Devlin · December 4th, 2008 at 8:52 amThanks for stopping by. So you both thought about teaching. Takes a very special person to do it.
Delilah, I’m still most likely going to end up teaching. Right now I’m waiting to hear about an adjunct professor spot teaching a Freshman Lit class at the university where I got my bachelor’s degree. The department chair is a former professor of mine who was excited when I told him that I had gotten my MA in English Lit in May of this year (he was on sabbatical all last year).
Even if that doesn’t happen, I may start looking into adjunct positions at some of the Community Colleges while I enroll in a second Master’s program.
by Karin · December 4th, 2008 at 12:51 pmKarin!
by Delilah Devlin · December 4th, 2008 at 1:39 pmGood luck with the teaching job! And teaching at college sounds so much less stressful than teaching teenagers who don’t want to be there!
lol im rarely coherent and define sober LOL
by tami blackroze37 · December 6th, 2008 at 10:02 pm