January 27th, 2009 | by Shelli Stevens |
Wow, by the subject line of this blog I bet you’ll never guess where I’m going with this post! 
So I’m making the effort to date again. This Friday I have a date. After having barely any (let’s see, I can probably count on one hand how many) since I had my daughter and became an instant single mom.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been out of the dating game, and I’ve noticed this time around it’s different. Namely…it’s not a game anymore. I’m like…whatever. I’m going to go out and have fun. I’m not going to go through that angst that was so damn aggravating when I was at it before. Maybe it’s because I’m a mom now. Maybe it’s because I’m in my early thirties. But I have a whole new outlook on it. I’m more openminded. I’m more…relaxed.
Looking back, there were some interesting dates in my twenties, but not many I’d classify as bad. I suppose I should consider myself lucky. Though it’s kind of disappointing in my efforts to share good stories.
Of course, there was this one guy my roomie (another guy) brought home from a bar because he thought we’d be perfect together. They’d just met. Seriously. Didn’t really work out.
There was one guy I met on a dating site. He seemed my type. Outdoorsee. Guys guy. And then we went to a movie. We saw…shoot what was that bad movie with that rapper…oh yeah 8 mile or something? Anyway, I was a little concerned with how things were progressing, and then we hit the spot in the movie that sealed the deal. I can’t remember exactly, but it was something about the mom (Kim Basinger) and the oral sex. And my date….giggled. Not laughed. He giggled. Now I’m not saying men can’t giggle (well maybe I am), but it was the way he giggled.
So I’m in the mood for some bad dates stories. I’m sure someone has one that’s way better than mine!
p.s. drop by my website to hear about my latest contest!
Shelli Stevens
This isn’t a bad date story (I’ve been really lucky that way!), but it’s a funny date story. It was a first date. I’d met the guy at a girlfriend’s and barely spoken to him. He called her, asked for my number, she checked with me that it was okay, then passed it along.
He invited me to a Halloween costume party at someone’s house. He didn’t offer to pick me up; I was supposed to meet him there (ok, I wasn’t too impressed with that part, but I’m a liberated woman
). We didn’t discuss what we were wearing as costumes.
I showed up in hooker garb. He came as . . . wait for it . . . a preacher. We couldn’t have picked a cuter mismatch if we’d tried.
by Susan Lyons · January 27th, 2009 at 12:03 pmHa! Susan, that is too funny! It would have been good for a laugh I’m sure. So no chemistry between ya, huh?
by Shelli Stevens · January 27th, 2009 at 12:13 pmOh susan…I can *almost* top you. I had a coffee date on NY day (my first date in 8 years) and we’re talking….and we’re talking…about the internet and how folks will say ANYTHING online and it comes out that I’m a writer. He asks me what I write. I tell him erotica and erotic romance.
A few minutes later I ask him what he did in his former city. He tells me he used to be a youth minister
*headdesk*
For the record, he never called again (he was also an “aspiring” writer), but I totally HAD to use the YM in my current proposal.
by Ames · January 27th, 2009 at 12:18 pmThis one happened to me in Japan with a Japanese guy. We met in a disco one night and he asked me if I wanted to go out again. Ok, he was nice and good looking, so fine.
He picked me up. He had a car, which is not that common in Tokyo, and took me to dinner. It wasn’t a fancy place, but not a dive either. So far OK. My Japanese was only so-so at the time so our communication skills weren’t that great, but we were still able to understand each other.
Afterwards he really pushed me to go to his apartment, which I didn’t really want to do, but Japan was a really safe country so I felt fine about it.
We’re sitting there and he makes me some tea, and put on the heater because it was so cold and most apts. don’t have central heating.
We’re talking, but I was kind of getting bored and wanted to go home and said so. He had different ideas. He sat there trying really hard to keep me there and my red flags started waving in my face. Then he started asking me if my nipples were pink.
Japanese men are fascinated with the idea of “Caucasian” women’s nipples being pink because I guess, Japanese women’s are more brown.
Whoa! I said again, “I’d like to go home” but he wouldn’t take me. Then he started mauling me a bit really begging me to have sex with him, which was totally freaking me out.
I was a smoker at the time and I started chain smoking to keep him away. All the time I was thinking that he didn’t live far from where I did and I could just walk home. But I was also thinking, Oh shit here it is, I’m gonna be one of those women that some psycho freak keeps in his house tied up.
Finally I got really angry and demanded that he take me home, which he did, begging me the whole time to stay anyway. Freak!
He tried to call me several times after that and even sent me some gifts, but I never talked to him again and told my Japanese guy friend to tell him that I had a boyfriend. He didn’t bother me after that, but from then on, I was very aware when going out with someone.
On a better outcome after a first date story—
I met my husband online. After a long email, then phone courtship we decided to meet. I was pretty sure that my take on him was correct, but he picked me up for our first date sort of. It was more to have a coffee since we didn’t want to have it be more serious at that time. We hadn’t exchanged pictures before hand, so we both wanted an out if needed.
Anyway, as soon as I got in his truck he locked the doors. What? Oh…no. you. didn’t! My red flags went up, but I still trusted him. Then he took me for a drive down by the Green River, which wasn’t far from he lived and he told me his apt. was nearby.
Then… he started talking about the Greenriver killer (a famous serial killer in Seattle area), who hadn’t been caught at that time, telling me that where we were driving was where some of the bodies were dumped. What?! Then he’s going on about how the Greenriver killer was never found.
Part of me was wondering why he’s telling me all this and such and I did start freaking a bit, but I still trusted him. Well, we are together 9 years later and married for 3.
He’s just that kind of guy who has all these facts in his head and likes to give a running history of a place everywhere we go. But a the time, I thought it very weird.
by MB (Leah) · January 27th, 2009 at 12:39 pmShelli, nope, no chemistry with the minister-guy. BTW, that reminds me I also once dated a man who’d spent some time in a monastery and thought of becoming a monk. The monastery wasn’t a good fit for him: this same guy (1) wanted to introduce me to a female friend of his to see if we could arrange a 3some; and (2) wanted to throw a party for his guy friends and have me serve them, dressed up in a French maid costume. And no, I chose not to participate in either activity
. Had I known I was going to turn into an erotic romance writer, I might have done them just for the sake of research. LOL.
Ames, I used to be a legal editor. Guys would ask about my job and I’d say “editor”. They’d ask what I edited and I’d say, “law books.” Then they’d ask, “what kind of education do you need for that job?” and I’d say “a law degree.” Long pause, then, “so, you’re a lawyer?” “Uh, no, I’m a legal editor.” Close enough – I had a law degree, and for many guys that was a real turn-off. Couldn’t possibly date a woman who might be brighter and better educated than them. Well, guess what, boys? I’m sure the hell not dating a guy who has an inferiority complex!
MB, you’re a braver woman than I. Both with the pink nipples guy and the Greenriver killer guy! Your hubby sounds like a very interesting man. LOL.
OK, I’m supposed to be finishing a book that’s due Friday. I shouldn’t be on the internet at all, but Shelli’s topic for today is just so much fun. (Not that my book isn’t, of course
)
by Susan Lyons · January 27th, 2009 at 12:49 pmMy bad date wasn’t so much the date itself, but what happened afterward. He was actually a perfectly nice fellow from Australia. Either dinner didn’t agree with me, I was coming down with something or maybe I was just way too nervous about the date (I never did date much). We were on the freeway heading back home when I told him he needed to stop the car because I felt sick. I managed to get the door open, then proceeded to puke onto the freeway shoulder (at least I missed his car). Needless to say, he didn’t kiss me goodnight, nor did he ask me out again.
by Karen Sandler · January 27th, 2009 at 1:27 pmAmie, I still giggle at that story. Obviously it was his loss! LOL.
Leah, wow on the Japanese nipples guy! I probably would’ve bashed him over the head with a lamp. That’s crazy! And too funny about your now hubby and the green river killer conversation date. I think it’s part of living where we do. It was a fascinating topic.
Susan, I didn’t know that about you! And you should never date a guy with an inferiority complex. What a waste!
Karen, oh you poor thing! And what an unsympathetic jerk!
by Shelli Stevens · January 27th, 2009 at 1:56 pmHumm. I have to say I don’t think I have had a truly horrid date. yeah I have gone out and had guys not get I was not interested in more. I think I am too soft when it comes to letting someone down.
To me the guy that does not get it is just part of dating. I guess I need to figure out a way to be more forceful that is comfortable for me.
Lacy.
by Lacy Danes · January 27th, 2009 at 5:07 pmThis wasn’t technically a “date” but a guy I’d met on an online site and I began emailing back and forth and had arranged to meet. No sooner had I agreed to the date, time and place then he began asking me questions about sex. Like extreamly personal I don’t talk about this stuff with my best friends questions. I explained to him that if he was looking for a hook up he had the wrong girl. He responded by saying he wasn’t and then asking more questions. Needless to say I told him that not only would I not be meeting him but that I’d no longer be responding to his emails.
by Colleen · January 27th, 2009 at 9:59 pmColleen, that just sucks. It’s sad how some guys online just immediately go there. So tasteless and really, unless you’re advertising for a hookup, stupid.
by Shelli Stevens · January 27th, 2009 at 10:46 pmOh, Shelli, I sympathize. A giggle sounds like a silly thing, but like you said, it was the way he giggled. Sometimes you just know when to say no, no, no.
My worst date ever was in early college. A guy asked me out to a nice restaurant. I had next to nothing in the bank, so I was excited. Plus, I thought he was nice. Uh, no. At the end of the meal he announced he’d “forgotten” his wallet. Luckily, I had a credit card, given to me by my parents for emergencies. I was naive back then, and believed him when he assured me he’d pay me back. Never saw him again. A scam-artist in the making. So not the man of my dreams. I’m happily married now to a great guy, and feel lucky every day. Well, most every day.
by Elizabeth Amber · January 27th, 2009 at 10:59 pmOh, Elizabeth that is just MESSED UP! I would have hunted him down and….grrr. Or started one of those websites about him? Or list him on ‘don’t date him girl’ or whatever that site is.
by Shelli Stevens · January 28th, 2009 at 12:32 amThanks for the sympathy, Shelli. I only remember his first name–Roger. I hadn’t heard about the ‘don’t date him’ site. I love the idea!
by Elizabeth Amber · January 28th, 2009 at 8:02 pmTwo dates stand out over a seven year period of dating. Both were net dates and I had spoken too both women before we met in person. One told me as I was going to meet her that her friend was going to be there and then when I did show up there was three of them. they were hiding in a small part of the bar and as I walked to the toliet I saw them. They asked me to sit down and after three minutes I stormed out as they were playing name games and it felt like an interview. Another time she was fine at the start but after 10 drinks she wanted me to take her to her friends bar and gee whizz get me out of there fast…
by daniel · January 28th, 2009 at 8:33 pmDaniel, nothing more off putting than a bunch of girls playing games. And 10 drinks!? Whoa!
by Shelli Stevens · January 29th, 2009 at 2:08 amOnce in my late teensI went out with this guy for the first time-he was a neighbor of a good friend of mine. We had a good time, laughed, held hands kissed goodnight at the end of the evening so I thought all was well.
The next day he sent me a letter saying he’d worked out this points system to work out which of the 2 girls (one being me) he was currently dating he wanted to go steady with. I wrote him back saying it wasn’t a problem as he now only had the one and it wasn’t me LOL
And then there was the guy who took me to the movies in London and got us lost in sleazy Soho and kept apologizing all the time. He told me the next day he was going to Kenya so had to break things off. I thought that was a pretty wild excuse until I found out later that it was true LOL
by Kate Pearce · January 29th, 2009 at 2:54 pmOh, Kate, that’s hilarious about the Kenya guy!
by Shelli Stevens · January 30th, 2009 at 12:42 am