February 2nd, 2009 | by Lacy Danes |
And The Winner Is Amy S.!!!
Amy, Email me at Lacy@lacydanes.com and I will get your copy of Being Wicked in the mail to you this week!
Hugs and Kisses,
Lacy.
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Good morning… I mean afternoon/evening all.
I had good intentions on getting this posted earlier than this, but I woke this morning wanting to linger in bed and think. Not having my kids this week makes this possible, so I did!
I have had a few friends of late break up. Some of the experiences have gone smoothly, others horridly. All of them stressful for both parties involved.
I have a horrid time breaking up with someone. Especially if I have been with that person for some time. I hate hurting people so breaking up is something that pains me to do. Even when I know it is the right thing for me I always end up crying as I am saying the words.
One of my friends is a firm believer in breaking with someone but continuing to see them off and on for a month or so to make sure things are done with, and with future friendship in mind. I have seen him do this on several occasions. They break up. They meet for coffee the next day. They go to the movies the next week and then slowly they become friends. I am not sure how this would work for me. I have never had someone do this nor have I attempted doing such.
I have another friend who will simply cut the cord and walk away never to talk to the person again. But when you do care about a person this way seems harsh and hard to handle.
I have had bad break ups… and okay ones. But not usually the kind where I can immediately be friends with the person. My worst experience had the person I broke up with climbing up on my balcony the next day trying to talk me around. So not a good experience.
So I guess I am looking to hear from all of you out there. How do you end a relationship? And what good and bad experiences in breaking up or being broken up with had you had?
I will choose one name from all of those who comment by the end of tomorrow 2/3/09 and give away my new release Being Wicked!
Good Luck!
Lacy.
It’s not always a good idea to be friends after breaking up. It’s only happened a handful of times to me. I usually prefer a clean break with no phone calls and we definitely don’t meet up for coffee.
by Jane · February 2nd, 2009 at 8:14 pmUmmm I usually let them dump me (cause I feel too bad) unless it JUST isn’t working. In those cases…wait no, I think I’ve ended things for more than they have with me.
I’ve stayed friends with almost all the exes. The one time it was really hard, I didn’t really want to end things but knew it was the right thing to do. And I hurt for like two years. But it was the right thing to do.
But, umm, I’m pretty much a pansy. If things aren’t too serious I’m all about ending things in an email/text/etc. Call me what you will….
by Shelli Stevens · February 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 pmI kind of get along with my exes. One of them I tolerate because he is the father of my children. I think if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t speak to him.
I do have an ex that I adore. We were great friends to begin with, but we just didn’t work out as a couple. So we broke up and stay friends.
by Lisa F. · February 2nd, 2009 at 10:19 pmI guess I am lucky… the few breakups I have had occurred because of geography (the other person had to leave town) so I had no chance to run in to them again. I do not think I could stay friends, it might encourage them to stalk (ego, much? lol).
by kaisquared · February 2nd, 2009 at 10:22 pmHi Lacy! It was great chatting with you tonight. Being Wicked sounds great!
by Amy S. · February 2nd, 2009 at 11:10 pmI have usually let them break up with me andI just move on. I have remained friends with most of my exes butthere are always some that are totally out of my life.
Renee’
by Renee · February 2nd, 2009 at 11:12 pmI’ve always thought that breaking up is more like tearing up. It’s a long (and sometimes not so long) process of becoming increasingly unhappy or disillusioned with your relationship. This continues on until you reach the point of realizing you need to do something. You try to talk about it with your S.O. until you realize it’s not repairable. Then eventually you feel like you need to make a move in a different direction. Then you take some steps….then more steps…then more until you’ve found yourself on you own! This can be a long process or a short process depending on the depth of the relationship and your own sense of self esteem. In the end though…you are free of that unhealthy and disfunctional relationship.
As for becoming friends again….not until there has been a lot of time pass and you’ve moved on to a whole new adventure with someone else or even by yourself…imagine that.
by Rocky Allen · February 2nd, 2009 at 11:22 pmHmm… I think in general it seems to work best to do a clean break right away, and then after some period of time (at least a few months, not like a couple days), you might be able to ease back into being friends. Unless both parties are equally for the break-up at the time, it’s hard on the person who still has more feelings to try to squash that into a friendship and can really be an unreasonably difficult expectation. IMHO, of course
by Fedora · February 2nd, 2009 at 11:49 pmI prefer a clean break. It’s best to just move on. After a period of time (usually months) , we might decide to be friends.
by Deborah · February 3rd, 2009 at 10:47 pmCongratulations Amy S YaY!
Lacy Being Wicked sounds really good. Love the title & that cover
Hugssss
by ReadingIsSoMuchFun · February 6th, 2009 at 2:39 amLindaH