July 8th, 2009 | by Lucinda Betts |
I’m back to one of my favorite books, FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE SEX: 101 SENSUAL ACTS NOT EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DO. Living up to its title, its pages describe predictable things like anal sex and autoerotic asphyxiation.
And then I flipped to this page. “7. Behave like an Eighteenth Century Rake.”
I LOVE this. I so want to behave like a Rake! Okay, here’s the definition (from page 25): A rake was a rich young man of he 18th century, who dissipated his youth and fortune on gambling, drinking, and above all, womanizing. (Okay, I’d man-ize, but still.) The author, Clare Bailey, then makes a complete list of what one would have to do to become a Rake. Being a horse lover, I particularly like step 4: Go for a ride in a fashionable park. (Yes, you will need horses and, if possible, a carriage. Alternatively, a convertible Ferrari or Aston Martin will do.) When I become a Rake, I’m taking the horses. I think a lovely set of matched bays would serve me very nicely. I wouldn’t know an Aston Martin if it bit me on the ass.
Step number 1 is pretty good too. Step 1: Come into an inheritance or endowment that generates an annual income of at least $400,00. That sounds easy.
But then we come to the final step, step 10. (See how easy it is to become a Rake? Ten easy steps!) The last one’s a doozy, though. Step 10: Repeat until ruined, syphilitic, sclerotic or killed in a duel. It wouldn’t be hard to kill me in a duel, at least if the duel was with swords or something. If it were hand grenades, I might have a chance. I can really pitch a ball.
But what the heck is ’sclerotic’? Does it have anything to do with ‘erotic’? Wait here a minute while I look it up. Oh, here it is–sclerotic: adjective: of or relating to the sclera of the eyeball (“Sclerotic tissue”). So if you become a Rake, you get eyeball-ish? That doesn’t make sense. Wait here while I check out the other definitions. Ah. This might be it: adjective: relating to or having sclerosis; hardened (“A sclerotic patient”). That seems closer. Maybe if I look up ’sclerosis.’ noun: any pathological hardening or thickening of tissue.
So, I guess being a Rake might harden my tissue. I suppose my level of concern would be directly correlated with exactly which tissue got hardened.
I started blogging here and in myspace to introduce new readers to my books. And although I’ve been sidetracked about becoming a Rake (I still might try it–damn the sclerosis!), the introduction continues. I have eight books on the shelves right now with another coming out in November. All but one of them is a paranormal romance. You can order my newest book WHAT SHE WANTS on Amazon.
Today, I’m giving away an autographed copy is up for grabs to a random commenter. Leave a comment, and I’ll pick a winner on Friday.
And keep your eye on this blog and my blog at Myspace. The FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE book has many more interesting pages for me to blog about, and I have a stack of paranormal romances by many authors to give away. I just gave away a copy of BRANDED BY FIRE.
Best,
Lucinda
OMG, what a hoot, Lucinda. I want to become a rake too, but #10 is definitely off the list.
by Cathy M · July 8th, 2009 at 2:47 pmLove the post that is too funny. I will definitely be checking out your future blogs.
I agree though, 10 has to go!!!
by Heather Brewer · July 8th, 2009 at 2:55 pmI want to find a copy of that book… lol
by Regina · July 8th, 2009 at 2:59 pmOMG. I love the comment about the hand grenades.
Sounds like you would have a lot of fun becoming a rake. 
But I would really have to rethink it because of number 10. 
congrats on your latest release.
by Larena Wirum · July 8th, 2009 at 4:05 pmLOL! Lucinda, you’re cracking me up! I’m not sure becoming a rake is in my future! Yeesh! On the other hand, I could definitely read your posts and books forever!
by Fedora · July 8th, 2009 at 4:20 pmThanks for the very amusing quotations! I’d like to be a rake too. Maybe a rake-ess? I think it actually sounds like a good historical plot–a girl finds a list of rules for being a rake and sets out to be one.
by Courtney · July 8th, 2009 at 5:22 pmi would love to win your book;)
by monsi · July 8th, 2009 at 5:30 pmToo funny.
That was pretty entertaining, and I only got as far as THE JOY OF SEX. That’s how you writers get all your ideas when your “sexxing” up your books. Not that I’m complaining. I certainly learn plenty along the way of reading my steamy romances.
I always gravitate to the rakes, and now I know it takes only 10 easy steps. Who would of thought.
And thanks for the chance to win your giveaway. I just love your books.
by Armenia · July 8th, 2009 at 6:21 pmWhat She Wants sounds good!
by Amy S. · July 8th, 2009 at 7:58 pmYou’re right that last one was a doozy. I think that the disadvantage of becoming a rake weighs more heavily than the upside. Alas.
by Little Lamb Lost · July 8th, 2009 at 9:14 pmRakes in books are tameable by the right woman. They get their HEA before syphilis kicks in!
by Marial · July 8th, 2009 at 10:36 pmHi Lucinda!! Oh I love this too! Those Rakes and Rogues just don’t leave us (alone)
by Caffey · July 8th, 2009 at 10:43 pmI’d LOVE to win a copy of What She Wants!!
by Lanai · July 8th, 2009 at 11:20 pmI wanna be a rake to! It’d be so awesome. I’d be popular and stunningly gorgeous and men would fall at my feet. Oh wait… That’s already happening.
But yeah, love the Earl of Rochester, that was my man!
by Amanda · July 9th, 2009 at 2:07 amThanks for the fun post!
I’d love to win your book, shapeshifters are my favorites!
by Eva S · July 9th, 2009 at 2:13 amThanks for the steps to become a rake. It was a lot of fun. But what happened to all 10? I have never heard of this book before, but now I am going to have to look out for it. Definitely good for some amusement of every variety
Can’t wait for What She Wants!!!!!
by Booklover1335 · July 9th, 2009 at 7:54 amGreat post. :grin Rakes had it good didn’t they?
by CrystalGB · July 9th, 2009 at 10:38 amI love bad boys in all shapes and forms! What She Wants sounds awesome!
by Sue A. · July 9th, 2009 at 10:41 amYou know I love bad boys.
by BadBarb · July 9th, 2009 at 11:05 amHello again. Really would like to try the book!
by Saskia · July 9th, 2009 at 11:22 amI love that book! i still haven’t gotten around to getting it but i think i want to be a rake too! love it!
by D. Huff · July 9th, 2009 at 11:26 amLucinda,
It seems to me that in many historical novels, the male rake wants to get out of #10 so marries and tries to marry for love. No wonder they try to marry so fast, lol or threat of duel is imminent. Does anyone see a historical reference in any novel saying the heroine will marry said rake even though they have VD, I think not, LOL.
by Rosie · July 9th, 2009 at 12:58 pmDueling with hand grenades too funny. I want to be a rake too but I want cars instead of horses. #10 is definitely out. Great post.
by delitealex · July 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pmalways interested in finding new authors to add to my collection. I am even trying my hand at writing my own book. Hubby loves my short erotic ones, he is currently in kuwait, heading to iraq , so it is the only way we can share our active sexy life. Will have to do some checking up on what I might read.
by valerie spring · July 9th, 2009 at 3:25 pmHehe. At least it wasn’t “How to become a French Dandy.”
by Lizz H · July 9th, 2009 at 4:47 pmWOW! That was great….I will have to check it out.
I would LOVE to win a book!
Thank you!
Bretta Thompson
by Brittania Thompson · July 9th, 2009 at 5:00 pmI’m with you. I think I can do all of the but the duel part. Not so good with swords but I can throw a ball pretty well myself. Looking forward to the book coming out.
by Gina · July 9th, 2009 at 5:16 pmExceptional post. Thank you so much I loved reading it. Please enter me to win this book it sounds fabulous
by sara hurt · July 9th, 2009 at 5:19 pmHey, Can’t wait to read your stuff!
Suzi
by Suzi · July 9th, 2009 at 5:39 pmHaha I am so going to have to find a copy of that book! It sounds Amazing =)
by Elishia · July 9th, 2009 at 6:10 pmI really want to read that book
by Kaitlyn V. · July 9th, 2009 at 6:22 pmI would love, love, love to win your book What She Want’s. I also liked your blog…I think I should check out that Forbidden Knowledge book also…sounds interesting!
by Rhonda · July 9th, 2009 at 7:28 pmI would love a chance to win one of your books. thanks for letting me know.
by Gil · July 9th, 2009 at 8:07 pmI still really really want to win a book.
by Lanai · July 9th, 2009 at 8:29 pmI would love to win one of your books…thats for telling me about it!!
by Dawn · July 9th, 2009 at 11:11 pmLucinda!
I am in TOTAL agreement here. I SO want to be a Rake. They have all the fun! I have to buy this book, sounds like a must read!
You know that is always the thing that kills me in historical romances, the ‘bad boy’ Rake gets to have all the fun, gambling, drinking, horse racing and all around debauchery, while the women have to sit around and simper. Somehow that just doesn’t seem fair, does it? I want to be a ‘Rakess’. I want to gamble, drink, smoke, and participate in debauchery too, as well as have a HUGE inheritance. But I to would have to man-ize too, but I can’t help but think it would be a good time.
Great blog!
Amanda
by Amanda · July 9th, 2009 at 11:49 pmi would love a copy… i love your blogs..
by Heather · July 9th, 2009 at 11:55 pmi have no idal how all that came about but put me down too love to win
by angela · July 10th, 2009 at 11:40 amOh my…I’m getting me a copy of that book!!
I hope I’m not too late for the free book giveaway….Thanks for the Chance anyway..have a great week-end!
by Carrie · July 10th, 2009 at 11:57 amHI!
by rhonda · July 10th, 2009 at 12:06 pmI laughed my way through this blog post, Lucinda. And I thought you always wanted to be A TART!
not a rake.
But either would work.
Bonnie
by Bonnie Edwards · July 10th, 2009 at 1:29 pmI would LOVE to winner one of your books.
F Thone
by F Thone · July 10th, 2009 at 2:05 pmI would LOVE to be the winner one of your books.
F Thone
by F Thone · July 10th, 2009 at 2:06 pmTHAT was HILARIOUS!!!! I know I am to late to win anything…but the read was worth it! I needed this chuckle today! LOL!
Hmmm…I think I need to become some hardened tissue. I can’t see getting eyeball-ished. HAHAHAHA
by Krew Kaptain · July 10th, 2009 at 3:14 pmAfter reading forty million Barbara Cartland books growing up, I should know about rakes. It’s the liver that gets hard. Barbara says that “he’s in his cups” if I remember correctly to say that he drinks a lot and is a little tippsy. I don’t think that I would like to be a rake but all of her ladies were attracted to the rakes in the stories. So I guess with all of their vices, the charm and good looks overshadow what you should be aware of. You would make a somewhat rake, Lucinda. I say somewhat cause I don’t think you’re a hard drinker. You’d do ok with the swords for the duel. Just watch the movie, Princess Bride a couple of times and you’ll be an expert ;> D
by Mo · July 10th, 2009 at 7:35 pmAs usual, I enjoy your blogs and I WANT YOUR BOOK!!!! Hear, hear Random Goddess. Mo
Congrats to #37! Heather won a copy of WHAT SHE WANTS!
by Lucinda Betts · July 11th, 2009 at 9:22 am
I like the take of sclerotic! Makes me feel all gooey inside.
by Sherri · July 18th, 2009 at 10:07 amthat sounded very intertaning under what it would have been like for the ladys in thous days who was just like one them love to win one of your books
by angela cedillo · October 14th, 2009 at 9:09 am