A few nights ago I was out at one of the finest traditions ever created: the girl’s night out. Ours is a group of seven women who trade off houses every month, we all bring food and play games, drink, eat, talk about writing, life and of course, men and sex. It’s a great stress reliever, I always laugh too much, eat too much, talk to much and my batteries are totally recharged when I walk out of there.
A few of our number are single, a few married, a few divorced and dating again, so we have a wealth of stories to talk about across the board, and those of us who are wearing the rings can relive our wild days and live vicariously through those out there on the front lines of the dating scene. And like most women when they get together like this, yes, guys, we do talk specifics. Which after the very detailed and vivid discussions from the girl’s night out, and coming back home to write a sex scene, made me wonder: How real is too real when reading or writing a sex scene?
After all, let’s be honest, sex, at least really good sex is messy. But really good sex scenes are kind of a combination of reality and fantasy. So how do we split the difference?
Let’s take a look at some specifics.
The wet spot – yes or no? For me personally, I don’t write in a wet spot. When my characters are done with the uber mind-blowing sex and cuddling, they aren’t having to put a towel down or scoot around so someone isn’t laying on the wet spot. And come to think of it, I haven’t read a lot of books where that’s been mentioned. But would that make the scene more real, or any more romantic? Not for me…. But could be for others.
How to handle the come. For me personally, I do write come as an erotic addition into my sex scenes. After all, it is kind of one of those “turn on” type things. It happens, it’s a desired outcome and there are bodily secretions involved. In real life, I’ve always thought it was kind of funny for a woman to spit rather than swallow – after all, it’s already been inside your mouth at that point! So, yes, my heroines swallow and even enjoy it. And I guess since I view giving a blow job as very erotic, and laced with feminine power, so do my heroines. For my heroes, giving oral sex (and yes, they are damn good at it!!) is an integral part of the sex and they very much enjoy their heroine’s generated secretions. I even have the heroes kiss the heroines after giving her oral sex, and the heroine tasting herself on his lips. This may be a little too real and “in the face” (sorry, no pun intended, even though it made me giggle when I realized it was here…) for some people, but to put it bluntly, come happens….so how do you want to read about it?
Male stamina & quick rebound time. I’ll admit, my heroes have some pretty decent stamina and some good rebound time. I usually have the heroine coming first and the hero after her, or the good old simultaneous orgasm. Granted, in real life, I’m sure everyone has experienced the oops where the guy comes too quickly and you’re not even close to getting there—but since that’s not something I want to read or fantasize about, I don’t write that in my scenes. Now, to be fair, I don’t have the heroes turning into little sexual Energizer Bunnies and going for eight hours straight, or rebounding ten times a night in one minute intervals. (I think my poor heroines would not only be sore, but would hunt me down and break my laptop!) But having a guy so turned on by you that even though he’s already come once, a little kissing and cuddling can get him ready to go again is not only sexy—but makes us feel sexy, too! So why not have that in our sex scenes?
Location, location, location. Now I’ll admit that I’ve been adventurous in the past and had sex in some different locations. It’s fun, sexy and the thrill of doing it somewhere you’re not supposed to, does make it more hot somehow. That’s no different for my heroines. Although in this arena, they do tend to be much more adventurous than me. For example, I’ve never done it on an alter in front of twenty-one naked men and one woman (Ceremony of Seduction), in a public pool with another woman (Vision of Seduction), or had a six way with five of my closest women and men friends in a throne room where many of the male populace of my planet watched (Trio of Seduction). But that’s part of what makes reading a fun fantasy where we get to live vicariously—just like hearing about the escapades of others during the girl’s night out 
So, come out and play. What do you like in your reading sex scenes that you don’t like in your real sex life and visa versa. What do you like to read, but don’t like to do? What do you wish you were brave enough to try in real life that you’ve read? Time for an online girl’s day out…and guys…you’re welcome to play too.
So pick up a martini (or your drink of choice) and spill. I’m waiting
Cassie
Btw – don’t forget that Trio of Seduction, the third book in the Seduction trilogy, releases on July 29th!
