Aphrodisia Authors :: Blog

Ambition is a strong desire for achievement, rank, success or power, according to several dictionaries.

According to writers? The strong desire is to be published. Early on, it’s to sell a first book, to be validated as a writer or some more personal goal.

As time moves on ambitions change or maybe ambition changes us. I’m not entirely sure what happens first. I just know my goals have changed. What seemed totally unattainable a few short years ago, have now happened.

Recently I went to dinner with a group of writers. We represented erotic romance, romantic suspense, category romance, historical and Regency romance. We’ve written novellas, single titles, trade paper, even a couple of non-fiction books. We’ve all published multiple books with multiple houses. (Wow, don’t we sound like an impressive lot – before writing this I’d have said a bunch of buddies got together at a local restaurant to eat, drink and be merry, but suddenly it sounds like some lit’ray function.)

As we took our seats and ordered drinks, we cheered and called ourselves “survivors” for having been in publishing for a number of years. The talk turned to careers, the business, the changes in the business (the only constant in publishing is change itself).

In the midst of our rambling convoluted conversation I said, “Ambition’s the bitch. No matter that 2 years ago I sold 3 books in a matter of days, I want more and I want it now.”

Yes! Ambition’s what drives us all. We’ve had our thrills, our successes and for a time we were happy with deadlines and plots and characters. But then, ambition worms its way into our thoughts, and we want the next sale, the next hurdle in our personal journey.

For women to be described as ambitious isn’t always flattering. In fact, sometimes it’s read to mean something rather less than feminine. Ambitious women are often shown as, well, um, bitchy, power mad, and manipulative.

But for writers those things can’t help. Bitchiness gets you nothing but disliked. There’s no such thing as real power in publishing for writers because writers have no control over changes in the marketplace. As for being manipulative? You get to manipulate your characters/story/pacing/plotlines all you want so that’s out of your system by the end of every day anyway.

But without ambition, the writers at that table wouldn’t sit down and do the work every day. We wouldn’t dream our dreams, write the stories, do the work that ambition demands.

Ambition’s the bitch that bites us, that rides us, that we feed, that we harbor.

Personally, I love my inner bitch. She takes me places I’d never have been without her.

I don’t list New Year’s resolutions anymore—they’re invitations to live better for a few days before utterly blowing them, or blowing them off—but I do focus on fresh goals. I have two this year:

Create beauty—and share it.
Think sexier, live sexier.

Have you noticed that the second one gets a little harder as time goes by?! I’ve been married to the same guy for nearly 35 years now, so the habits have sorta piled up . . . while the assets have sorta dropped down. But it all starts in your head, right?

So I’m making a conscious effort to buy some new clothes, to (gasp!) shave my legs more often, and to be “in the mood” more readily. You’d think being the author of erotic novels would make that spark automatic, but you know what? Sex—and stories—all get pulled out of thin air. If you can dream it, you can achieve it, not? (Maybe I should put my current story collage, featuring Johnny Depp and Sean Penn, beside my bed . . . ya think?!)

The first goal, about creating beauty, came to me because I realized how many hobbies and activities I once enjoyed that have gone by the wayside—and how, while my husband has time to watch football, or play with his new scanner, or whatever, I always seem to be picking up the house. Or catching up on little writing business for my NINC office. Or answering emails. Or yeah, composing blog posts.

Where did that FUN time go? Why don’t I read for sheer pleasure anymore? I don’t even want to think about how long it’s been since I took a craft class or went to a movie!

Why is that? Where is my time going???

Since you’re reading this on your computer, you have my answer, don’t you?

I’m keeping it simple, but daily, this goal tending. I’ve simply decided to STOP the busy, have-to-do-it stuff by around 8 p.m.—to walk away from my office so I can devote those last couple of hours before bed to something I really LOVE to do.

I’m working on a wild, colorful afghan for a niece—creating beauty to share. Already have another pattern in mind for the next one, because working with color revives my spirit.

I spend an afternoon a week in the sound booth at the state library for the blind, recording my books—LOVE doing that, although it pays nothing. But I’m creating beauty to share.

I treated myself to a hardcover novel before Christmas, and gee, I’m reading it while it’s still on the bestseller list! Didn’t let it get lost in my TBR pile this time!

I took out two sweatshirts I bought long ago, plus that book on how to make appliqué jackets out of them, so I can create unique, beautiful tops from my stash of sewing scraps.

I WILL find a local class on glass fusion (after I meet my March 1 deadline) because I know I’d love to learn that new craft.

And I’ll keep trying new recipes and foods. And I insist on using my four colors of Fiesta ware for every meal—even when it’s just me eating a quick lunch before I get back to my manuscript. That’s beauty I share with me—and that counts!

Simple goals to liven up my life . . . and yeah, they get me off my butt and out of range of this computer. And we can only imagine how that might contribute to that second goal of living sexier, not?

It’s your turn now! Share YOUR goals here! Everyone who reads this can use a few new ideas. And meanwhile, I wish you your best year ever in 2010! May this be the start of a prosperous and productive new decade for all of us! God bless us every one!

I’m moving to California (my home state) this week. In fact, I’m posting this in advance, so likely as you read it, I’m on the road between here and there.

It’s probably not a surprise that I’ve spent the last month or so packing. The fun part of this experience (as if there’s anything really fun about packing your life and relocating) was finding all the odd bits and pieces of writing stuff I’d forgotten about.

For example, I found the first handwritten version of Every Witch Way, one of my upcoming Kensington releases. It was bad. Very bad. I’m scrapping everything and starting over on that book, which I knew, but this confirms it. Eek!

I also found some of the research I did for ON THE PROWL about San Francisco (which is where much of the book takes place) and then a whole bunch of stuff I looked up for the futuristic shape-shifters I have coming out, UNTAMED (Nov. ’09) and KITH AND KIN (which my editor will be renaming something sexier soon). Most of the notes were transferred into my computer files, but it’s interesting to see exactly what made it and what didn’t and where my research went. I tend to completely forget what my original concepts were as I get lost in the reality of the world I’m creating.

And as a final, side note: my new book, ON THE PROWL, released this week while I was transitioning states. Details below!

Meet the Cruz brothers. They look human—except for the golden sheen their eyes take when they’re aroused beyond control…and the way their claws come out when it’s time to play rough. They’re Panthers, ancient shapeshifters, and their survival depends on mating to bring out their wild sides…

Undeniable

When Antonio, the strong, sexy new leader of the Panther pride, meets luscious Solana in a dark alleyway, their passion lights up the night. But she’s an outcast, an impossible mate—and her touch makes him lose all control…

Irresistible

Ex-model and businesswoman Andrea doesn’t need anyone—until she meets Miguel, who tempts her mind with daring games and teases her body with dark, forbidden pleasure she can’t resist…

Indescribable

Wild twins Ricardo and Diego do everything together—and their women appreciate the teamwork. Until shy Isabel takes refuge in their pride, and both want to claim her. Of course, sometimes two mates are better than one…

Places to get it on the web:

Barnes & Noble
Powell’s
Amazon
Chapters.ca

I signed a contract for my three book deal with Kensington today, so that’s what’s on my mind right now.

Whenever I get a new contract, I buy myself a little present. It has to be something I wouldn’t normally buy for myself, but that I really want. It’s an extra, an indulgence. Most of my advances go to very practical things, promotion, paying bills, etc, but I get one really nifty thing each time.

The first time I sold, I bought myself a digital camera. Yes, I was in the Stone Age and didn’t have one. I’d wanted one forever, but it seemed like such an extravagance because I didn’t really need it.

But I deserved something nice, don’t you think? I did. Behold the booty for that contract. It’s even lime green…my favorite color!

For the contract I just signed, I got myself a new cell phone. My old one was dying, so I bought it a bit early, but it still counts!

It has all kinds of neat features that make me squeal and jump up and down and hug it. It plays music, interfaces with Bluetooth, has speakerphone, and let me download the Boston Pops playing the Pink Panther theme song as my ring tone. I always have Pink Panther, you see, though my old phone had just a tinny midi file. I tried the standard rings, but it just didn’t register that my phone was ringing. So, I got the awesome new version of my ring tone.

Isn’t it pretty? I love getting presents, and I love buying myself presents. Now if only I could find a good reason to send myself flowers, I’d be all set. Hmm…

-Crystal Jordan
http://www.crystaljordan.com

CARNAL DESIRES – Nov 08
ON THE PROWL – May 09

So, I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately. The fall premiers have kicked off, and I’m procrastinating on a major level to avoid writing my next novella. Yeah, yeah, I know. Bad Crystal.

I’ll get to it and make it in on deadline, I promise. I’m in the worst part of my teaching semester at ye olde university, so getting myself to write a little and not collapse the moment I get home from work is a challenge.

What have I been watching and what does it have to do with writing?

Well, it’s inspiring my characters, actually. Who knew?

First, I’m loving on Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. Why? Because unlike a lot of the guys you see on TV, he pulls off manly. I mean, he’s buff and does dirty stuff for my entertainment. Nice.

The next is Bear Grylls from Man vs. Wild. I don’t know why, he’s just hot. And all my heroes are hot. So…he’s totally inspirational. It’s research, I swear!

Ty Pennington from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Trading Spaces. He’s a carpenter, he has style, he’s a goofball. And he looks good without a shirt on. *happy sigh*

And finally, the whole cast of hot chicks on L.A. Ink. They’re sexy, they tattoo people for a living, and their work is fun to watch happen. This is totally inspiring the new hero I have in mind, who’s going to be a tattoo artist.

See, my TV watching procrastination habits are all for the good of my writing. No, really, I mean it.

What, you don’t believe me? Would this face lie to you?

Have you ever acted on impulse? I’m not talking about sneaking an extra cookie when no one’s looking, or tossing a handful of candy bars onto the conveyor belt at the grocery store. I mean an act of wicked indulgence, with an audience.

While in public, most of us (writer’s especially) tend to curb the urge to actually commit an outrageous act of daring. Even though we’re very good a thinking them. Instead, we weave them into our heroines and heroes, living through them just a little bit along with our readers.

But, writer or not, once in a while we need to shake things up. Get our hearts to skip a beat and smile like we ate the biggest canary on the face of the planet. Well, last fall I did just that. And it was fabulous.

Let me explain…

The day was perfect–gray, windy, a touch rainy…just right for a Highland festival. But the weather was merely the perfect backdrop. Bagpipes, bodhrans, and whistles filled the air, adding excitement to the day. The Clans were called. The games ceased, temporarily, and men assembled to parade across the grounds, kilts swishing with each step, chests forward, banners held high.

The Highland Festival and Games had officially opened. Much to my delight. Now, just to let you know, I’m half Irish, but there is a wee bit o’ Scots running through my veins and my husband decends from one of the oldest Scottish Clans still in existence. So each year we go, set up a booth, break out the banners and swords and chainmail. It’s a grand time.

Then came a call – judges were needed to determine which single, kilted man had the “bonniest knees”. As a writer of historicals, Scottish and Viking and other time periods of old, I went all giddy inside. Now I had never actually seen the contest take place, only heard the cheers from a distance and watched the winner announced.

Little did I know.

At the urging of my family, yes, even my husband, I volunteered. I can do this; I can look at bare male knees peeking out between wool stockings and plaid tartans to pick the nicest pair. Duh. Well, imagine my surprise when I, a willing volunteer, found myself pressed into a chair and blindfolded. I was to judge all right, but not by sight. I had to judge by feel.

My face turned red, matching my hair. My freezing cold hands began to shake, but inside, the butterflies of anticipation took flight. Hey, I had permission to do this. In fact, with even the kids urging me to volunteer, you could argue that they had twisted my arm.

One by one a line of young, single men paraded in front of myself and several other ladies, standing patiently as each pair of female hands blindly reached forward, at best in their general direction, to “squeeze” their knees. Scots men are brave.

The smile never left my face.

Now what has all this got to do with writing? Well, aside from a great deal of fun, I dared to act. I chose to do something I would never ordinarily do – and with an audience no less.

As writers we tend to linger in introverted, creative worlds. But we do need to live life in order to create more believable characters. Don’t pass up a chance to smile, or laugh, or cry. We will be better for it, and so will our characters.

And know this, you can take great joy in feeling your way through.

~Annalise Russell

www.annaliserussell.wordpress.com

Writers are neurotic. Don’t you think? I am, and it seems to me every other writer I’ve met – in person or by email – is as well. Often, we get swamped by self-doubt.

We ignore twenty great reviews and agonize over one bad one.

We check Amazon numbers even though everyone tells us they’re not a good indicator of anything at all. And when our ranking drops, we’re shattered.

With each book we write, we hit a point where we think our characters are stupid, our story is stupid and, most of all, we’re stupid and will never be able to turn this pile of c**p into a book.

How do we survive without slitting our wrists? [g]

That’s my question for today? What gets us through the bad times? (And hey, I won’t restrict the question to writers. If there’s anyone else out there who’s just as neurotic as we are, please feel free to answer.) Let’s share our tips, tell what keeps us motivated. Maybe we can learn something from each other.

Speaking for myself, there are a couple of things I try to remember when I’m wallowing in self-doubt:

1. I actually do know how to do what I do, and I can do it again [g].

2. I have good reasons for writing. I do it to bring the characters in my head to life, and to give readers something that entertains them, moves them, and maybe even makes them think.

I have a number of techniques that help me remember these things. One is to frame my book covers and hang them in my office, along with the awards my books have won. On my bookcase sits the vase of silk roses that my local RWA Chapters award for book sales. And something I plan to do is set up a scrapbook where I save little motivational items, so I can turn to them when I’m feeling down. Like, the contest judge who said, “Susan Lyons is one of my favorite writers.” Wow! The sailor who told me one of my characters reminded me of his wife, then shared the terrific story of how the two of them met. The readers who tell me that I gave them hope when I wrote about a plus-size woman finding a man who believes she’s truly beautiful. All these are reminders of why I do what I do – and that I do a halfway decent job of it too!

How about you? How do you keep yourself motivated, especially when you’re going through a period of self-doubt?

My husband says all the technology in my life is conspiring against me.

And unfortunately, I’m starting to think he’s right. There’ve been several examples: the garage door opener that only works for me intermittently, but always works for him; the DVD player that refused to load for me on ANY disk I tried, and worked for him on the first try; and even the AMC theatres pre-bought ticket machine yesterday…sigh.

So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when last Wednesday I booted up my trusty pink Mac and got a flashing file folder with a question mark instead of my friendly background picture. Unfortunately, hubby wasn’t able to get the Mac to work like he does with everything else and we had to take it down to the Apple store. They promptly told me my entire hard drive was toast, and they hoped I had backed up my data. EEK! Luckily, they exchanged the hard drive for a new one for free, and I did have backups. I had an entire laptop backup on Time Machine from a month ago, and before I left to speak at the Heart of Denver Romance Writers last weekend, I backed up my writing file and a few other folders I couldn’t live without.

Anyway, I consoled myself with Starbucks on the way home and the knowledge that my hubby has an affinity with technology and could fix my “baby” good as new.

I was having some serious laptop withdrawal when he came into the living room looking like someone had died. That’s when I got that icy cold sensation of dread curling inside my belly and making me nauseous—you know the one I’m talking about. Yup—my month-old backup was corrupted and wouldn’t load. That meant everything I hadn’t backed up the week before—pictures, emails, desktop, tax spreadsheets, and a hundred other things that flashed through my mind were gone.

Sigh…

I let myself pout and rail against the universe for all of about five minutes before taking a deep breath and reminding myself that A) I had only lost about 8K on my WIP from what I had done Sunday after I’d gotten home from Denver, and then Monday and Tuesday. And I did have all the work I’d done on my Alpha Smart since the demise of my poor laptop, and B) the situation was what it was and whining wasn’t going to buy me anything but stress.

My hubby closeted himself back inside the office messing with my laptop all the rest of Friday and all a good chunk of Saturday.

Anyway, much to my surprise, he found a program somewhere on the internet for $100 that allowed him to fix 95% of the corruption issues within my backup and restore most of my files. Woo Hoo! What a man! Gorgeous, sweet AND he recovered most of my data!!

So, yesterday morning when I woke up, I found my trusty pink Mac on my recliner in the living room, and I started the process of restoring the files I’d backed up right before I left for Denver, and finding out how much data I had lost from a month-old backup within my non critical files.

I think the biggest gap is on my emails—some of my accounts didn’t keep the email account history on the server, so those are gone. (So, if you wrote me and haven’t heard back, you may want to try again!) and my Sent history for the past month is totally gone.

Anyway, that’s my computer saga. And as much as I work with technology, it does become frustrating at times—like my automatic backup failing just a few minutes ago, for some unnamed reason! Sigh! But I’m thankful for what was saved, and thankful I can get back to my book today now that life is back to normal. Hopefully, that 8K won’t take too long to make up, and here’s hoping it’s even better the second time I write it.

Does anyone else have my same luck with technology? Or is it just me? LOL!

Cassie